Everyone’s doing the emo dance anyways…
My self imposed isolation
is yielding a lot of lukewarm results. My grand experiment is so far
a not so stellar work in progress. My attempt to bring a little
forward motion towards definition is going both ways, and whether or
not it’s a good thing remains to be seen.
Being back on the night
shift has been good for me, and facing certain harsh realities is
also good. But now comes the downfall of most best laid plans; human
emotion. I’ve always been a softie, despite always being the first to
point out the all too human weakness of actually giving a shit. We
have needs that need to be fulfilled, and some of those needs, sadly,
just have to involve other people. And since I’ve decided to leave
the people who could provide those needs and the very few people left
are either in no position or are seemingly unwilling to partake in
the goings on of my shitty little ordeal, I’m left with a few
options.
I’ve never been a
proactive guy, only playing the hand that’s dealt. That’s why up
until now I’m still bouncing from one place to another in complete
free fall, and I’ve decided to change that. But there are instances
that waking up alone that really blows. It doesn’t happen often, but
when it does, fuck all there is.
It’s that time again.
Time to test the fates by putting myself in situations that make for
awesome breakthroughs. I’m ready to meet people. I’m ready to mix it
up again. I ready to fall in love with and under the city lights once
more. Time to find the smile I’ve lost.
