The Badly Written Sitcom

     A couple of days ago, Zean and I did this little docemuntary thing that involved a group of some of the most talented people I’ve been exposed to, and I’ve been around talent. But these guys… it was insane. They’d just play any instrument (and a few non-instruments) they could get their hands and make undeniably beautiful music with each one. It’s been quite some time since I surrounded myself with artists that aren’t really my friends, and it was actually a day that put certain things in perspective.

     I am currently nursing a hangover while writing this (and last night’s session was a doozy), and I should be in bed, but my mind just wont stop buzzing. I’m about to return to a place I never should have left; school. Now that I’m at the opposite end of the teacher’s table, how would the view be like? I believe in things being up to perspective, but I also tend to cling to a few of my certain absolute truths.

     As a college student, I believed that the world was a beautiful place, that good and evil are just intangible concepts, that everything will fall into place because that how things play out. Like in the movies. Two years in "adulthood", and the only absolute truths I know are all people are evil, everyone is a liar, and this shit and that shit would only ad up to a whole lot of shit.

     I just want to reverse all that negativity.

     I want life to be a ride again, instead of it riding me. 

     Don’t get me wrong, this year is shaping up to be one of the best years I’ve ever had, but it’s always about the ending, kids. And endings determine if there’ll be sequels.

     Admittedly, I’m still a bit too smashed to make sense.

     But damn last night was a party. Beer, laughter, it’s all good in my part of the neighborhood.

     I’m the last person on Earth who should preach about responsibility. I know that. I’m aware of my own shortcomings and I’m fully aware that I, sad to say, am far from perfect. I am the first to admit when I am wrong, and because of this I’m always wary as to when I am wronged.

     Most people know me as a cheerful, stoner stereotype, drink til dawn type of guy guy, and on most occasions, that would be true. But I do tend to have emotions once in a while, especially when I’m hammered. The sad thing is, those emotions stick. All of these may sound like incoherent ramblings to almost everyone reading this, but I have a point. (I hope.) What I posted last week was me being me. Me being honest. People want to take it the wrong way, fine. It wasn’t an attack, because if it was, there would be a name attached, since I don’t fight my battles anonymously. I was just using my blog for what I originally set it to be used for, letting off some steam. I didn’t use names, I didn’t use vulgarity, I didn’t even go for cheap stunts like embarassingly embellished stories or worse yet flat out lies. I was blogging, just blogging, so don’t tell me to suck it. You could just stop reading.

      This is not an apology. This is not a retraction of my previous post. This is not even an explanation for my actions. (Though it sounds like one.)

      This, above all things, is a declaration that I am not going to be anyone’s doormat anymore. There’s a few things I value in a person. Respect. Loyalty. Humility. Honesty. Conviction. Responsibility. Selflessness. I haven’t perfected all those traits yet, but believe me, I’m working on it.

      I’m all about the long run now… and in the long run, I would want to be the person who chooses the best people to be around with, not just who’s nearby. You can love me for that, or loathe me, but the truth is, I didn’t do shit to you, so don’t act like I did. Respect. And if I did, then my bad, but if it was that serious, you wouldn’t have to bring up my mistakes. I would do that. Responsibility, humility and honesty.

     I don’t hate anyone now. Which is more than I could say nearly a month or so ago.   

The problem with putting on a blog is the fact that anyone could comment on the goings on in your life. Democracy tends to be a drag that way, giving voice to people who aren’t even entitled to one in the first place.

Lesson on propriety… normal don’t come up to anyone like everything’s cool   when things are clearly not. Bad blood is bad blood, and there are people out there who don’t believe that time can correct the sins of the past. Only the sinner can do that.

Let’s not ruin other people’s good time shall we?

     No. I’m serious. Take a gun, load it up, cock it, lock it, then blow my freaking brains out with it. I’m serious.

     Sort of.

     Today, I got hired for the job I’ve been gunning for. No pun intended. I’m going to be a eacher. In the south. Whoopeedoo.

     Sometimes there’s just something wrong with the world so much that it rarely allows you to have exactly what you want. Not to be a bitch or anything, and I do love the fact that I’m getting the job I want, it’s just that there’s a hint of irony that I just can’t bring myself to appreciate.

     I’ll be teaching; amongst other hopefully production connected subjects, contact center training.

     In other words, I’ll be teaching people how to be phone monkeys. Okay.

     So God has a sense of humor. Great. Thanks, but ugh.   

     My quest for an academic endeavor most noble received a breath opf new life as the school I’m trying to be employed in  just called to have me report. If all goes right next week, I’ll be teaching all those silly ass summer students. Maybe.

     Actually, I have all but given up, so I went to a job interview I never planned on heading out to. I was in that part of the neighborhood anyway, right? It was for a writing job. What I didn’t expect was it was a writing job for a porn site. I actually had to right erotica. Me. Erotica.

    More like neurotica if you ask me.

   I’d like to take this moment now to address certain issues that concern people of the old sort. People who have been around for nearly ten years now… June’s coming up, people. Time to end a few other "unfinished business", as Carlo puts it.

     The inactivity must be causing me to lose my mind. Don’t get me wrong, the completely stress-less and responsibility-free existence I’m currently enjoying is something I am… errr… currently enjoying. But, as pretentiously bohemian as I am conducting myself right now, the whole teaching situation is honest to God bothering me. And I know I’ve been bitching about leaving two jobs to pursue it for quite some time now, but I can’t really help it can I?

     An entire month or so of constant brain cell burning isn’t stopping me from being as restless as I am. Seriously, I’ve been nuttier than usual, and not in a good way.

     And considering my motivation for striving for complete simplicity: Ed freakin’ Stevens. To those unfamiliar with the character, he’s the guy from whom the TV show, Ed, is named after. The show is about a guy who gets fired from his job in the city, then comes home to find his wife sleeping with the mailman. In a fit of inebriation, he flips through his high school yearbook and decides to turn the worst day of his life into the best by returning home to Stuckeyville, the small town from which he grew up, buys the bowling alley he used to hang out with and pursues his high school obsession, Carol Vessie.

     I’ve basically done all that, the only difference is I’m unemployed and my high school obssession is well, let’s say it’s as complicated as Dc’s Infinite Crisis.

    The fat lady hasn’t sung yet, but I sort of hear her warming up. Balls. 

     It’s been what? A week? A week and a half? Doesn’t matter, I’m back to fill the void in your lives with this week’s edition of The Badly Written Sitcom. (Appaluse and canned laughter)

     I apologize for the gratuitous self pat on the back, I’m in a midst of another crisis, and I need that shit to get through. This whole ordeal involving my (seemingly failed) attempt to educate in the South is getting me all stressed out, and I don’t do stress. Not anymore.

    If I wont be teaching, what will I do? I mean, I left two jobs to pursue it, and I don’t really have any desire to do anything else. This summer is a very trying time for me. The following couple of months will dictate how the rest of my life plays out, and I’m not just being overly dramatic here.

    Oh man, oh man, oh man.

      RJ will always be an overflowing fountain of good news. I mean, really. First off, the guy goes out of this wayward way to spoil Wrestlemania for Carlo a couple of weeks before the big show. Then, though I hold no ill will, RJ pretty much ruins my prized peace of mind with a rumor that actually has more impact in my life than the truiths all around. I might not be a teacher after all.

     See, our rather plump and annoying friend heard from a rather cute and deceptively clever looking girl who then heard from one of the not so bad looking teachers who then heard from the *cough cough* looking dean that the said dean would prefer a female professor. So, despite the qualifications and proficiency, there might be a chance that your boy wont be teaching anytime soon because I just happen to pee standing up. (70% of the time at least.)

     Now that would ruin everything. Not that I was expecting to be accepted automatically, but the effects of my application being rejected, the very thought of not teaching in this particular institution would send shockwaves to the entire blueprint of my new proposed perfect life. I have, like I indicated before, redesigned my life for maximum enjoyment and the total elimination of unpleasantries.

     After I graduated college, I’ve never felt as at home and as content as I was during the past few weeks of unemployed Southern bliss, and with this news, I am faced with the possibility of haivng to go up north again to gain employment. That, like vacuum, just sucks.

     Who knows, maybe life is leading me to a direction of where I need to be and not where I want to be.  Not that I would stop pushing for my rightful place down south, especially since moving on and growing up aren’t really my specialty, but sometimes things just happen.

     By the way Ed? I don’t have a girlfriend, not that it should matter or is anyone’s business. Stomping off, albeit virtually, just isn’t cool.

     That’s it. I’m making another movie. Fear me. 

      Every other week or so, I seem to be declaring that everything is new again. That’s the phase my life is in right now, smack dab in the middle of transition.

     Picking up where I left off, I did the demo, and no official word has been released as to whether or not the eternal college student would become a legitimate college professor. (Still has a nice ring to it though, Prof. Cruz. It rolls of the tongue like a rap star’s name.)

    Robin, Resty’s younger brother just graduated high school, so everything’ll be changing for him rather quickly over the next few months. I just hope DLSU-D treats him as good as it did me, but knowing Bin, it will.

     Bianca and I are once again on speaking terms… as we speak.

     JP’s back… breakout the Backstreet Boys CDs, kids… it’s going to be a long night.

     Resty’s about to start a new job.

     After months of dealing with unparallelled insanity and selfishness, I’m getting a great break from it alol now, with all my friends around me and prospects of a job I would definitely enjoy… right now, this new slate is actually an old one, for some reason I just stopped using it. Wont be that stupid anymore.

     I just realized that it’s 2006, ten years after third year high school, where it all began for me and my friends. And now that everyone’s dealing with al the new lives tht just got handed to us, it’s the perfect time to celebrate no?